The truth is that I had hoped – we all had hoped and prayed – for a longer remission. But pancreatic cancer of the sort that is fond of my cells, a deadly cancer that turns otherwise perfectly ordinary, hard-working, and righteous proteins into mutant ninja cells, has a history of finding a way, even after a remission, to cause more trouble. So it is with undeniable sadness that I report that I am no longer in remission, no longer “cancer free.” The damned little mutant ninjas running amok in my vascular system are back, which is an empirical fact. My CA-19/9 marker is at 670 this week, after registering 500 the week before.

That’s not good.

That said, Dr. Robin also gave us some very good news. The tumor/scar tissue on my pancreas and lesions/scar tissue on my liver are stable, which means that whatever the mutant cells are doing is still at a formative stage and – here’s more good news – may be reduced by a timely return to what she calls “lightweight maintenance chemo.”

So beginning next week I reenter the Room of Orange Chairs.

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